Being a dad is an amazing, sometimes chaotic, always rewarding journey. With two kids—a spirited 6-year-old girl and an energetic 3-year-old boy—I’ve experienced my fair share of trial and error when it comes to balancing parenting, work, and (hopefully) a bit of time for myself. While each day brings new surprises, there are some lessons I’ve learned that have helped me embrace the role of “Dad” a bit more confidently.
Here’s a look at the insights I’ve picked up along the way that might help you find balance with your little ones too.
1. Embrace the Chaos (and Lower Your Expectations)
When you’re outnumbered by kids, things aren’t always going to go as planned. I used to think that I could maintain a super organised household, but I quickly realised that with a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old, “organised” often means “slightly less messy.” Sometimes, you just have to roll with the unexpected meltdowns, the endless snack requests, and the toys that somehow find their way into every room.
Learning to let go of perfection and embracing the chaos has been freeing. Now, if we manage to get through the day with minimal drama, it feels like a win. This mindset shift has made me a more relaxed dad, which, I’ve noticed, helps my kids feel more at ease too.
2. Making One-on-One Time a Priority
It’s incredible how different my two kids are. My daughter is imaginative and loves her art projects and storytelling, while my son is all about trucks, dinosaurs, and anything that makes noise. I’ve realised that spending time with them individually makes a big difference.
Once a week, I try to carve out a “Dad and Daughter” time and a “Dad and Son” time. With my daughter, we might sit down for a quiet drawing session or read her favourite book series. For my son, I might get down on the floor for a round of building (and demolishing) block towers or take him out to explore the park. These one-on-one moments don’t have to be elaborate, but they’ve helped me build a unique bond with each child.
3. The Power of Routines
Routines have been a lifesaver, especially in a house with young kids who thrive on predictability. For us, the evening routine is crucial. Dinner, bath, storytime, and bed—it’s our tried-and-true system that helps everyone wind down.
For my daughter, bedtime stories have become a special ritual. She gets to pick the book, and we settle in for some quiet time together. With my son, it’s all about consistency in the steps. Sticking to this routine helps both kids know what to expect, which reduces bedtime battles and gives us all a moment of calm at the end of the day.
4. Letting Go of “Perfect Parenting”
When I had my first child, I was so focused on doing everything “right.” By the time my son came along, I had learned to be a little kinder to myself. Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, being present, and making an effort. Kids don’t need us to be flawless; they just need us to be there.
Letting go of perfection means I’m okay with the occasional screen time, the occasional messy dinner, and yes, even the occasional meltdown (for both kids and parents). This relaxed approach has taken some pressure off my shoulders, and it’s taught me that it’s okay to be a little less rigid in my expectations.
5. Laugh Through the Little Things
Parenting comes with a lot of funny (and sometimes frustrating) moments. Like the time my daughter decided her stuffed animals needed their own “school” and built a classroom in the middle of the kitchen, or when my son used my laptop keyboard as a ramp for his toy cars. Learning to laugh at these moments has been key to keeping my sanity intact.
My kids teach me not to take life too seriously, and I try to see the humour in the little things. Sharing those laughs with them reminds me that these moments, as messy or silly as they may be, are what it’s all about.
6. Remembering to Take Time for Myself
This one took me a while to figure out, but taking care of myself makes me a better dad. Even if it’s just 10 minutes to enjoy my coffee in peace or a quick jog to clear my head, I’ve realised how important it is to recharge. I used to feel guilty about taking “me time,” but I’ve come to see it as necessary for my well-being.
Taking time for myself makes me more patient, more present, and better able to handle whatever my kids throw my way (sometimes literally!). It doesn’t have to be anything fancy—a quick walk or a few minutes with a book can make all the difference.
Conclusion: Parenting is a journey, and each day is a learning experience. With a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old, I’m constantly reminded of how unique each child is and how important it is to be flexible, forgiving, and full of love. Finding balance as a dad isn’t about getting everything right; it’s about embracing the journey, growing with your kids, and creating moments that you’ll look back on with a smile.
For any other dads out there in the thick of it, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day at a time, find the humour where you can, and remember to give yourself a little grace. We’re all in this together, figuring it out one step (and one bedtime story) at a time.