We have only recently been lucky enough to welcome a newborn boy into our family not long before our daughter turned 4. We know from people we’ve met and what we see that 4 years is a pretty long age gap between the kids. The other thing I have noticed is how many comments we get from people saying “that’s a good gap”.

This is usually from people who have children. So what is a good age gap between kids? What are some of the positives and negatives of having kids close together versus far apart? Personally, in my lived experience the age gap has been invaluable.

Firstly, having a child previously made our second so much easier to handle. The age gap simply meant that there are so many tasks that our eldest can do on their own so that looking after the baby hasn’t been too challenging. For one, I don’t have to change any nappies for our eldest and they are completely toilet trained.

If I had two kids close together that’s more likely to be two kids that need their bums changed at the same time. The thought alone stresses me out. However, I can see that sometimes having two kids close to the same age can be beneficial.

For one, the kids get to share many milestones in their lives close together. They will go to school not long after each other, and they will both have a playmate around the same age hanging around (when they’re not fighting of course!) It can also be for personal reasons such as age, fertility and, of course, many don’t plan their pregnancies.

But if you are planning your pregnancies have a good hard think about how long you want to wait between children. That is of course if you want more than one. Two is our limit for sure, and I know a third child would result in complete chaos for our household!

What’s the age gap between your children? What do you think a good gap is?